Young girls and women everywhere struggle with body image and general appearance, and it’s interesting that whilst we share similar stories in pursuing self-love, we do not share the same body type or facial features. I appreciate that our male counterparts can also find the teenage years and beyond a difficult time in terms of acceptance, so don’t worry, I see you!

It’s upsetting how so many of us can find it a challenge to marvel at someone else’s beauty, without downplaying our own. There is definitely no official blueprint of what is beautiful - beauty comes in all shapes, colours, and sizes, and is subjective; “…in the eyes of the beholder”. We also see this in the media, where although a certain trait or body type is celebrated, the standards are constantly changing, therefore, we should not pay them as much attention as we do. 

How do I achieve this mindset? 

First, I would make note that with all the pressures of today, it is not unusual to struggle with body image. You’re not the only one, and sometimes that can be comforting, but that does not take away from how important your situation is alone. 

You must also understand that there is only one you. We can do our very best to improve the way we look, but we can never become somebody else. Therefore, accept you for you. Accepting yourself doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to love every single thing about you. For example, I accept that I have some acne scarring and that this was just part of my teenage years, however, I have the option to reduce the appearance of these scars if I wish. If this does not work, that is okay. It’s okay to have an ideal image for yourself, so long as this image is not extreme or will not harm you. Another example is, my natural hair colour is very dark, and I have no problems with that. However, I tend to get it dyed to add some dimension and lighter colours. Despite this, I have showcased my natural colour too, feeling no less beautiful. The key here is, being okay with the way you already are, being allowed to have a preference, and doing things for yourself.

Try to see the positives. This is not easy, and this may have you sounding a little ‘cuckoo’, but it helps a lot of people when they push themselves to see their perceived flaws from a different light. Scarring and stretch marks, for example, are just markings of your journey and experiences here on Earth. They can highlight child birth, healthy weight gain, surgery success, a silly childhood moment. Some others may have a more traumatic backstory, and you have survived it. 

A few exercises may help improve your self-esteem. If you have a friend that you know is going through the same journey, perhaps swap lists of what you like about each other’s physical appearance. You may find that she likes something about you that you did not see beauty in, and vice versa. Or how about this, who do you see in yourself? Look through some pictures of yourself, from the past and now, do you resemble anyone you love? If somebody has something horrible to say about your appearance, remember that such comments have been pulled out of a pit of negativity to hurt you. There is no other reason for this, and says more about that person than it does about you. 

All in all, there is something that you must remind yourself: our bodies are more than just the external. It is easy to forget this, as we are constantly exposed to our features and physique at every shop window and mirror we pass by. Our internal body does so much, every single moment, of every single day, to keep us alive in its complex ways. The least we could do is look after it, pamper it, and be thankful for it. It definitely does not deserve such harsh criticism. Your mind is also a powerful contributor to your beauty.

I hope this helps you in some way, and I wish you all the best!